Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Inner discoveries 12.3.2013, My mind and its quest for perfection

I am living, you are living in a particular time of history: 2013. The Pope abdicated, the Dutch Queen Beatrix abdicated and this is a big thing for the Netherlands where I am living.
Their national holiday called Queensday, by decades fixated at the date of April 30, will CHANGE into Kingsday and moved to April 27.
In Italy, my home country, we had elections 20days ago and the political and economical situation is still not clear and unstable.
I wrote a new song last month called "Children of the sun"and it is a song full of hopes and positive vibes for this world.
In this period of my life, several things have changed and i have lived in a nomadic way, without a stable home for the past 3months. That has been both unsettling/stressful and also interesting as i have lived with different friends and their flatmates and that gives you and leaves you something, a trace. Everyone has different habits/uses/priorities and it is so fascinating to see these differencies...but i also end up trying to find the "right"way, and this is when i don't like the workings of my mind and i realize i want to work on my mind to be more relaxed and flexible.
But as of now, my mind is still very uncertain, trying to find rules for everything so that she is not unsecure, so that she can be sure to do the right thing all the time, without hurting others.
I realize my mind has been working like that forever, building inside of me tons of rules and expectations that i had to fulfill, making "life"in itself a static process with lots of deadlines that i had to comply with. Criticizing everything and wanting perfection in everything....wanting one only way for everything....
And all this of course, has finished for stressing me like crazy...for making my life unpleasant.
So slowly i'm going through this journey,trying to calm my mind, trying to find a new definition of life, making her understand that lots of people live happily without the same stupid rules that she/it thinks she should comply to.

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